today, i had the pleasure of coming across a beautiful movie about love, loss, and understanding. you may have heard of it, but there’s also a chance you haven’t. tim burton’s big fish was an enlightening movie for someone who is easily impressed by a lot of movies that can make her cry (every movie in the world).

substack just deleted the entire draft i was working on which was probably for the best since i was insanely yapping and not getting to the point. regardless, ouch. couldn’t have given me a heads up? but anyhow, let’s start again.

big fish is a 2003 tim burton movie about a dying father, edward bloom (played by the late albert finney) and his son’s, william—or will’s—strained relationship (played by billy crudup). both did an amazing job playing their characters by the way, especially the actors who potrayed different ages of them. oh, and also a special mention to helena bonham carter, it’s not a tim burton movie without her.

this movie starts off showing edward bloom speaking to a woman, who i’m not sure who she is. i think just a wedding guest, telling her the story of how he missed his son’s birth at his son’s wedding. can you see how this might be a problem? yeah, me too. thought having semi-sweet intentions, will gets mad at his father and eventually leaves in another scene when his father starts to tell his stories in front of the wedding crowd while giving a toast. will’s mother (played by jessica lange) tries to comfort him but he’s not in the mood. the scene changes to the pair talking outside, will complains that his father couldn’t not make one day about him, even his wedding day and edward deflects by saying people love those stories and that he was sorry for being an embarrassment to his own son. though he says it in a guilt tripping manner as if to seek pity.

something that i notice now about this scene is that it was clear in the beginning that all edward wanted was to be seen by his son again. all he wanted was to earn his love by being ‘the great edward bloom’ he claimed to be in all of his stories (not a direct reference). there’s no way of knowing how much of edward’s stories were true but going off of them, from a young age ed was taught that he could earn love by being exceptional, by being great. it was shown in the scenes of him playing sports, becoming a salesman, etc. and so, unknowingly he brought that into his fatherhood. that’s even how he gained sandra’s love, by showing her grand gestures and working hard for her to live a comfortable life.

but something he failed to realize was that he didn’t need all of that, in doing so, he missed a lot of will’s childhood and quality time with his wife. when he was home, i believe he made up for lost time by telling these crazy stories to fill will’s head with ideas of how great he was. and in doing so, eventually he started believing those stories too. or at least, he wanted to.

with all of these thoughts about this movie that i could ramble on about forever, i want to talk about why it’s so important to me right now.

as humans, as people, as the supposed greater being of all species we have an innate desire to be great. to overachieve and to go after all of our dreams with such limited borrowed time. it’s as if some massive, divine hands dropped us on earth and earth was shaped like an analog clock and we’re forever doomed to hop from hour to hour, running from the ticking hands that could threaten to push us off. from the moment we’re put into school, we’re taught to rush, rush, rush. you don’t have much time. how are you so slow? get good grades, get a job, make money, be successful, be a kid. be a kid. be a kid. but how are we supposed to be kids when the universe wants us to grow so fast?

such a big, bright, and oftentimes gloomy world can be confusing for just one soul. so some cope by thinking if they just become great enough, all of it would have been worth it. the suffering, the pain, the boring days. all of it would have led to a life worth living. edward bloom was a very creative character, as well as eccentric and determined. but if you look at it from a certain angle, he was obsessed with getting things right. he curated his life into the one he wanted even if it meant doing things the ‘hard’ way, or taking the long way. and though it led to him having a beautiful home, a beautiful wife, and a lovely son, he never stopped. he never rested, not one bit. he poured himself into everything he did, such as helping others. because according to him, that was one of the things he loved to do.

william—or will—his son, looked up to him from a young age, stating he believed his fabricated stories way longer than he should have. but he came to his senses and realized they were lies. yes, anyone could see that his stories were false as they got older, some might even laugh at the thought but this affected william differently. being the semi-absent father he was, emotionally and physically, edward didn’t really connect with his son. most of their time was spent talking about his stories. stories that william had heard millions of times.

so as he grew older and eventually had to come to the conclusion that they stories were fake, it killed him to realize that he knew nothing about his father and that on top of never being there, he fed him lies instead of the truth. even when he had the chance.

i think we are a lot like edward. we dream, we jump, and we try and try as we might to land amongst the moon not knowing we have already found the stars. the movie showed edward’s love for his wife throughout the entire movie, so we know how much he appreciated her. but then again, i think he’s is the type of person to only be able to love someone as much as they love him. sandra adored ed and all of his stories, throughout some scenes she’s seen trying to make william see the bright side of them and his father’s personality. we know as an audience that she loves him with all her heart, no matter how old his stories get she’s always seen with a smile on her face.

truthfully, their love was so beautiful. but that brings me to the point that ed loved his wife so much, not only because he longed for her before they were married, but because she loved him just as much. and from the beginning, maybe he could tell something was off with william. he knew that having a child would be much harder than anything he’s ever done; children can’t always be so easily impressed. and the only way he knew how to impress others was by telling his stories. being gone for work all the time didn’t help much either.

in the end, william has to get over his pride as his father lays dying on his hospital bed, due to an earlier stroke, and tell him one last story. something that we as the audience know william has never agreed with; he was more neutral than his father and mother, it seemed. but by now, will has learned more about his father and the way he operates. so he sits and tells his father a story of how he goes, as he a tear streaming down his face by the end as he watches his father go from fully focused on him, to never moving again.

in my opinion, he will never understand his father. just like a lot of us will never understand some of our family members, or even friends. i don’t think that was the lesson of the story, i think what we were made to take from it (or at least what i took from it) is that we will never understand some things or even some people, but that’s okay. we shouldn’t have to. but we should be able to see into them, not for what they are, but who they are; for all their faults, all their mistakes, all their silly and goofiness, and love them anyway.

in the wise words of madison beer:

“you’ll never walk in my shoes, and i’ll never walk in yours and we shouldn’t have to in order to empathize with each other.”

so, i hope you enjoyed this endless rambling, and sorry if this was on your watchlist and i just spoiled it!

with love and care,

heiress